Becoming a Hero
by KaySnap55
Summary: It was hard to hear that the man his father had idolized thought he was just trying to be something he wasnt. Something he could never be.


"_Take away the suit and what are you?"_

He'd come back with a witty response, like always. That's what people expected of him, to be a complete ass to everyone, only care about himself and always have a smart comment. But Cap was right, as much as he hated to admit it. He _wasn't_ a hero, and he wasn't about to pretend he was. He knew what people thought about him, and quite honestly he never used to care. But for some reason, he wanted to impress him. Maybe it was because he had always heard his dad talk about him, talk about how great he had been, how kind he as to everyone. He was jealous._ Jealous I'm not jealous I don't get jealous. I'm Tony-Freaking-Stark I don't get jealous._ But no matter how much he denied it, he was jealous. Jealous of the fact that his dad seemed to love Captain America more than he loved his own son. He heard his father talk about his "Greatest Experiment".

"I turned a regular man into a superhero! Now who else could do that?" he would say. "Now listen to me son, only a few people in this world could do that. And that's you and me. When you grow up your going to be just like your pops right kiddo?" Then he would chuckle and go back to his work._ I tried to be like you dad, I really did, but I guess that just didn't happen._

He just didn't get it! Everyone seemed to like Mr. Spangles and Stripes, even Romanoff! And she didn't like anybody! And during the battle, everyone just seemed to follow him, report to him, _listen to him_. That was what a hero was, not some guy in a fancy suit. Steve cared about people, more then he seemed to realize. He would willingly lay his life down on the line for anyone on the team. Hell, he would lay his life down for a civilian in a heartbeat.

_Could I do that?_

So when he heard a nuclear missile was heading for New York, his heart leapt._ This was his chance to prove to everyone that he wasn't a heartless bastard; this was his chance to prove that he could be a hero, just like Cap._

Jarvis was putting a call through to Pepper; _He wanted to hear her voice at least once before he died. Before he disappeared into space. But she wasn't answering why wasn't she answering? Had she finally figured out that he didn't deserve her? That she could do better? Did she not care that he was about to go up into a great, vast place and that he might never come back? Did she care? Did anyone care?_ The lack of oxygen was getting to him, muddling his brain, making him feel things that he should never feel, feeling things that he had blocked out for so long. He thought he'd forgotten how to feel this way how to feel so _empty_ and _hopeless_. His suit wasn't meant for these conditions, he could feel his lungs failing, and he could feel the life fading out of him….

_He hoped the told Pepper what he'd done. He hoped she'd remember him for him, for who he really was not who he pretended to be. He hoped he'd made Cap proud._

So when his eyes opened to see Thor, Cap, and the "Big Guy" staring down at him in the middle of the ruins of New York, he let out a sigh of relief. "Lets say we take a day off, lets just not come in tomorrow." He coughed out, trying to ignore the ache in his chest, trying to push away the pain that threatened to overtake him.

_He would not pass out. Not now, not in front of everyone. He had to make them think he was ok_. But he wasn't. His head was pounding and his arms felt like ice and all he really wanted to do was hold Pepper in his arms and never let go because he had almost lost her, almost never come back.

The rest of the week was like a dream. Drifting through the motions as if in a daze, he watched with mild interest as Thor and Loki shot into the sky and somehow remembers to invite Banner to his tower._ Has it always looked that tacky?_ _ I need to change that_.

And when the rest of the avengers returned to New York after several months because of a call from Tony, they were shocked to see that his tower no longer said Stark, but only one glowing letter shone in the sky. A single** A**.

"So, um, each of you have your own level, did some research and, um, whatever level is yours has things that you enjoy, uh Romanoff I almost put you and Mr. Hawk together because you two obviously have some unsolved sexual tension-" Her cutting glare stopped him in his tracks. "But I decided against it and you have separate floors." He added hastily. "You guys can make yourself at home, and uh, feel free to come here anytime you like, anytime you just need to hang out. Just, don't bring anyone here that might blow it up. I would rather not have to rebuild." He added weakly, smiling briefly.

He could sense their curious stares on him as they thanked him and moved to their respective floors to explore and probably play with several of their new toys. But he also knew none of them would ask him what was wrong, because they all knew what he was going through, and had personally been asked if they were alright too many times to count. They knew it took some time to recover from a near death experience, even if it wasn't your first time.

"You going to go explore Cap?" he asked tiredly, looking up at the solider. The man out of time. The man who thought he was a poser, a fake. "Just wanted to say that even without the suit, I think your 're pretty heroic. I would say you've earned your status as a true Avenger Mr. Stark. Congratulations." Shooting him a smile, he clapped him on the back and started on his way towards the elevator. Just before he reached it, Steve turned back around. "Your dad would be proud of you Tony." He added. "Because I know I'm proud of you."

Nodding towards the solider, Tony opened his mouth to say thanks you, to say something smartass, to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Instead he snapped his mouth shut again and blinked rapidly. Giving him a mock salute, Steve stepped into the elevator, leaving Tony standing alone by the bar.

"_Your dad would be proud Tony, because I know I'm proud of you." _ Smiling to himself, Tony poured a drink into the nearest glass. _Maybe I __**can**__ do this Avengers stuff._


End file.
